eh?

ooo

2006-12-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

ooo. Jemo is going to the army, in a few hours time.
Think he will come out like Rambo, after his fats become solid muscles. ooo.

hols are pretty swell, except for training, i have been slacking. Coach has been making us do 20 km every time we hit the water, it is insanely tiring. feeling quite sian over the strokes, cause its reallly hard to master.. saw Connie a few times, my partner thinks she is pretty, haha.

oh well, just 2 more weeks and there will be a training break, due to the school reopening exams. shoik ah!

stupid lizard. just saw one running behind my com. hope it gets electrocuted and fry to chao da.

thought about wad Shaun said during BS last friday. we were on the topic on Church activities, and recently there are a lot of them. He raised up the point that such activities are not bad in nature, but following it should be a higher level of Word-based teaching. are the people just coming to Church for leisure, fun- or has it become just another routine?

if its just for fun, then sadly, as Shaun said, one day they will be robbed by something exciting outside and fall away. the world is surely, much more fun.

its its just a habit, then its just sad.

i need to start praying for my kids, i hope they will not fall into these categories.

well, not exactly kids anymore, they have grown up alot. starting to see alot of rebellion, attitude, anger.

tts good in some ways i guess. its a step towards making the decision to following Him right? i hope the pain they experience as they go through next year will bring them nearer to Christ, while they make the decision to stick to their saviour.

very exciting. God, give them strength to love you, follow you and honour you.

and please gimme strength to stick to these kids, my goodness i know i will need it.

thank You Lord.

Its all over!

2006-10-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

yep, they did give me a repaper for physics. it was do-able, i'm quite sure i got at least a C.

i feel so relieved, my nightmare is finally over.

saying good-bye to the year 2006. it was like prison for me, a time cell. the whole year passed soo torturously, and frankly i did not achieve much. i should be taking my As already, but that will only come after another year. i better make this count by getting good grades for my As.

i just thank God that He allowed people to come in and teach me things during this period of time. lessons that i may not exactly like, but benefited from.

all in all, its good. its over, and i should promote, i think i did well, my best at least. if not, its the army already, haha.

and thank you for taking all my nonsense while trying to support me. you really rock, haha.

went out with Magesh again, after the end of my paper. i did not sleep the previous night, so i was really, hmm, sleepy. but it was worth it, we had carls junior, some pool and lan. i was surprised i could still buy guns in CS, on account that i did play CS for so long liao. it was great hanging out with Magesh again.

training is going to step up too. very seh. found out that my stamina dropped alot liao, and my strokes are all going wrong. lots of work to do for Nationals next year. hopefully i won't die from 4 times a week of training.

eh?

2006-10-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

just took mc for thursday.
hope they will reschedule me for the paper on thursday
that means studying for the weekends
no more 5 days..haha..

promos

2006-09-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

are coming in 9 days.

then i will have a five day break of nothing-ness! ohhh man..

cannot already

2006-09-16T03:29:00.000-07:00

i needed somebody today,at least to talk to. just about anybody will do.

i found nobody.

everyone was either too busy, or they cannot be bothered.

disturbing them would thus be, selfish.

what a horrible day.

clingy

2006-09-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

thats what i think i am..soo, better stop liao

my bag was invaded by ants for the past few days. i had no idea why, until (thank God) i decided to empty my bag for washing and found a Mars bar wrapper inside it. that explained the ants attack, and how i had to sit through lectures with them crawling all over my face, dying inside my ear.

they smell horrible too, its amazing how 1 ant can stink so badly..sort of like this iron-ish smell. sick..

yesh, came to appreciate my ex classmate Kenneth after a long while. He is a very cheerful, cool friend, and also incidentally my punching bag. whenever i was really upset, i know he will be there for me, even till the point of neglecting his other priorities ( to a certain extend lah). talks alot of crap, but never fails to be quiet when i needed some space. i could not stand him initially actually, but always found myself seeking his help, because i actually needed it alot of times.

yeah, thought about it cos i became a punching bag myself, and it must have sucked for Kenneth when i was in those bad moods.

well, i just spent 1 hour trying to convert songs in AAC format to WAV. i dint manage actually, and hopefully i did not download any viruses in the process. arghh.

feels like i am banking on support that never comes

mao mao

2006-09-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

recently there has been this cat that keeps coming over to my house. i think she belongs to somebody, but i have no idea who.

my older brother calls her mao mao, and it fits her pretty well. haha, she will drop by in the evening and then demand someone to feed her. We do, of course, and so she became pretty friendly to us, ahha. it kinda feels nice when a furry animal comes snuggle beside you.

also, someone approached me to tempt this kid with some ice cream chocolate. its some lesson for the girl on not accepting anything from strangers. too bad i had to play that moronic role, and in the end the little girl screamed at me to go away. way to go kid, you passed the test. i dint even get to keep the ice cream. (the guardian bought it for me to offer the kid)

i am terribly frighten now, its 2 more weeks to my promos. these few days i feel like the sec1,2 me, the insecure, unhappy, low self-esteem me. it feels horrifying, but i realised this was the me God fell in love with back then. wad a mysterious God.. sometimes i think i am a burden to alot of people around me, and i am wasting away their love and care, but God is great, cause i can be the biggest burden to Him and it doesn't matter, hahahaha.

promos are coming again

2006-09-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

wah..very fast.. very exciting..haha..

on alot of nights i will suddenly have flashbacks of my previous promo results given to me, and i can actually hear Mervyn crying beside me telling me to "be strong, be strong".

sheesh, i think that was the best encouragement i've ever got, and it only took 4 words. maybe i should use it on someone when he or she is down, but how to cry on the spot man?

really miss S11, my previous class.. hope they will do their best for the coming "A"s, which is like, less that 70 days away. yeah, cos cannot repeat this time round. not that i wish they will, yeah..

So i had my Canoe Nationals a few months ago, it was good. Jie Sheng and i managed to enter the semis, but that is because there were only 4 boats and SA cap, so its auto qualification. haha. never the less, we beat TP in the semis, so.. not bad lah ah?

training is suspended already, and i have not touched or drank Macritchie water for 2 months. it's quite scary, cause i know when we go back, Jie Sheng and i will sure cap like mad, and coach will yell at us more, ahha.

Coach recently met us individually. i tell you its horrifying. I intend to forget the conversation, cause he was telling me that God is always there, so i should stop going to church till my "A"s are over. i have nothing to say, afterall, i am a repeat. seh. there were more things, i just dont feel like replaying that talk man..

as for other things..well.. the church choir retreat was just over, and it was great! haha, 'just' is about 3 months ago, hmm.. i was blessed, especially by Pastor Sam and his message ( previously known as Brother Sam, got ordained!). It was on "Painful, but necessary" things.

cell-wise, my kids are cool, just wish they will get less violent, hahaha.(hope they read this) i love them alot. they just had a cell blog, i pray we will use it and use it properly, no nonsense please!Cindy has been great, i wonder what i will do without her, she is really my favourite co- leader, cos i only had 1 co leader in my entire life. haha.

nothing already, i am off to study(really) and i hope it will be good. i met up with Serena to study a few times, but i think i better stop cos i always distract her with my lazing around, haha.

dead broke

2006-06-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

i have no more money already, cannot take it ahh..

its Cindy's birthday this month, so the cell (or rather, Connie and Sheryl) chose this big size soft toy dog.. thanks to the singapore sales, the price was slashed from 85 to 42.5, 50% leh!

how wonderful. the dog is reallllllly very soft and huggish-able, i want one for myself too.. haha..anyways i doubt i can get most of that money back..cannot take it ahh...

it will cost another 25 for the div retreat..
another 20 for the the choir retreat
owe Cindy 10 bucks
15 for my cell shirt (its really nice, so proud of it) and 15 for Dao Hong's shirt

as you can see, i am really broke. cannot take it ahh...

dying under the stress too..mid years are coming, i need to score for it.or else i will really just die man, shoots..feeling so stupid now

plus the nationals..doubt i can even qualify for semi, but what the heck, go for the experience..stress man..cannot take it ahhhhhhh

had a random thought while on the bus to study. i had this urge to just drop every one of my commitments, and for awhile it felt great, weird. struggling alot spirtually these days, man..i am really just drowning can?

came across something CS Lewis wrote, he said:
"courtship is the time for sowing those seeds which will grow up ten years later into domestic hatred"

he meant it from the devil's point of view, but it make sense huh

prefects

2006-06-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

i had to go check out the choir retreat site in view of the planning of the games. man, it was a tiring task, walked all the way from east coast macs to the NSRCC. it was ok, even though rachel was there, haha..hope the games will turn out fine, have to start praying. happened to pull out the tightening string on rachel's mp3 bag, its spoilt now. what an idiotic move right? going to kick myself later.

anyhow, went back to see the prefects too, it was grand, really missed those guys.. we were fooling around, hopefully it will not give the new prefects a bad impression of us, haha.. saw my batch of prefects too, saw the prefects my batch trained, it was swell.. yeah, got me thinking about the time when i was inducted, all the days lived in fear..( we got blasted aloot)

it kinda was worth it, seeing how we gel together in those crappy times.. now i really miss those days..those crazy peeps who stood by me when i got into hot soup.. those moronic plans of getting into hot soup.. yeah, its gone..time to look forward huh

looking at the board (exco peeps) caused me to realised we indeed have grown alot..well, all the best prefects, hopefully you will make a difference..if all else fails, you still have us, and lastly the hands of God. haha, make the panel proud man.

alot is happening around me actually.. the talk of the town now is of the end times, and i find myself not being able to catch up spiritually. its frightening, especially when so many people pin this standard on me. right now i kinda want to just drop commitments, stop waiting for that person and just quickly finish my studies.

sadly, i cant do that, i have to continue with my responsibilities, continue waiting( really really hate it), and study JC for another year.. i have to say this retaining thing has made me, different? a bad way actually.. wadever the case, i guess i have to move on..move on spiritually, move on emotionally, mature and moveonmoveonmoveon.

nothing worth staying here for.

I'll go, but i cannot go alone
cause i know i'm nothing on my own.
casting crowns-in me

SPA

2006-05-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

the funniest thing happened on wednesday. my class had chemistry SPA (science practical exam), which is A level examination. so, its the basics, titration and spot colour change. for some reason or other, they happen to give us the wrong chemical to titrate.. the usual neutralisation is between acid and base, but they gave us base and base.. we dint know, so the tables affected were titrating the same chemicals.. thus there will not be any colour change

it so happens that the teacher saw me doing the wrong thing at first, so she thought that it was our mistake..but how can 8 people in the class make the same mistake.. lame sia..

Jeremy, ( our class clown) was brave enough to speak up while the rest of us continue pouring the liquid here and there..he told me he was scared, cos A lvl how can make mistake, but he told the teacher

" cher, wrong chemical, got problem"

cher replied:

"cannot be, you titrate wrongly"

then he said:
"cher, really lah, wrong chemicals"

" you try again, try again"

so Jeremy gave up, and he told himself..die lah, fail already, die lah..die lah..

thankfully, cher checked the chemicals, gave us 1.30 hr extra( which was waaay too much, thank God !) and we did pretty well, haha.. usually you titrate you only use 1/4 of a beaker..when i turned around the guys were pouring liquid up to 3/4 of the beaker, i was laughing and feeling worried at the same time..

oh well, its over, for those who din't understand, i'm sorry, go take chem.

I dont like this..

2005-10-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

I'm now a retainee.

Yeah.. did real badly for my promos, dint meet the criteria.. have to stay back..

sorry alvin, looks like we cant pump Kenny already..

i really dint expect to not advance.. i thought i will at least scrape through.. but i dint.. gosh, its pretty much eating me alive..

now i donno how to tell the kids.. its really a terrible testimony.. how i always tell them to mug hard on sundays, and now i dont think i have the right to do so anymore..plus all the stupid programmes all over again, 2 orientations, NS talk, LOVE MATTERS.. GOSH I HATE LOVE MATTERS, CCA exchange, one more year of guitar.. i hate all those as much as the LOVE MATTERS...mann.. first six weeks in SR uniform.. i think thats the worse punishment.. and my friends, man.. i am literally alone, if i am only counting the physical beings.. new SA guys coming in, asking me why am i in J1, did i get the class mixed up or not.. 1 more year of canteen food.. i more year of listening to kok talk nonsense.. i wonder where did she get her principal-ing licence.. and my new teachers.. will it be kelly tan? nooooooo....
the list goes on, but i guess i am so afraid of retaining because, i pretty much shun away from retainees.. i dont treat them different, but there is this, thing.. and now, i am going to be the victim of the unspoken thing.. on how some people will think of me.. its really irritating..

makes me realised how strong those other retainees are.. but mann, i am not that strong..

why me?

i guess tts what everybody ask.. sigh, but i really rather not go though a repeated year.. set such a bad example.. i know that God's plan will unfold, but.. i thought i have a role to play in pointing the way, for those that are younger than me.. apparantly i dint do such a good job at that, not after this.. i half expect Li Duan to come and talk to me now.. man, i dont want to talk to her..

so everyone ard me is asking me to hold on, fight on, keep on loving Jesus.. wait.. i dont think i ever loved Him..

slept ALOT to escape this, skipped school on thurs, fri..cried too, its nice.. Mervyn(promoted to J2) was beside me when i called my mom and cried.. he broke down too.. mind you, he is a rugby captain. now i know why he is so popular among the girls.. haha..but seriously, he cried cause i cried, how freaky is that? but it felt good, in a warm and gross kind of way.. he told me to be strong when we were both sobbing, and i had to stop crying cos i wanted him to stop crying..haha.. i will miss that guy.. yeah, we both admitted, that was pretty gay later..

at least i have Anand.. got retained too.. 1 more year to share Jesus..

1 more year to study Jesus before NS, to study with Jesus, to just be with Jesus

heyy..maybe its not half as bad.. one more year to tell people about Jesus, not that i am doing that now, but..weeelll... one more year..

on the warmer and nicer side, God cushioned my week before the exam results was released.. first, on sunday, the band and the choir cheered me on for like, 30 secs? just making so much noise to encourage me..Weixiong said"go Ling Quan!"..haha.. and they were cheering me on to like, praise God? so its pretty awesome, now i know why encouragements meants so much to people, cos its realllll special..for a moment there it was like God telling me, good job kiddo.. and then the next day i got awarded by mdm wong as best speaker for PW, haha..shoik, got praised like, alot of times for that monday? suang xia, classmates were so sick of her praising me..haha..

and there comes the stumbling thing.. i think that was real sweet.

yup..one more year..

2005-10-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

I just read through my previous post...
Had pretty bad sentence structure.. better edit those post soon .. yeahh..

2005-06-15T23:36:00.000-07:00

ah.. its been awhile..

missed out quite alot, schools good, orientation was pretty boring, bla and bla.. been lectured by people lately,wish i knew what i was doing

had CG outing yesterday.. wish i was in a more perky mood to keep the kids spirit high..apparantly God did that, and the kids amused themselves pretty well.. thank God..

they came to my house and made a whole lot noise..pretty irritating, and it was impossible to gather them, cos when you call someone, one person will run away to play with the hose, drink water, kill ants, etc.. was soo irritated.. when they finally got organised, we managed to play some water bomb games, and they played this game that i recomanded..we got the game started and then i had to go upstairs to hunt down some rats..bro told me that there was some rat outburst..haha.. we caught the rat, after much struggle, and boiled it..tts how they kill rats, right..? when i went back downstairs, the game was in a mess and they had more fun. haha, thank God..rules are meant to be broken sometimes huh..

then we had some captains ball.. the girls were very rough, i dint dare to move much.. and the final score was like, 28-12? got thrashed real bad,although there were more guys in my team than the other one..

then we had BBQ.. started the fire very well, thank God.. and it was so hot that the grill caught fire a few times.. the guys took advantage of this and fan realllllllll hard towards the end of the BBQ so they can start a fire.. crazy kids..then they dance ard the pit like those red indians..( i suggested that, bad idea..) had to pour a pail of water on it, becos it was pretty scary.. they tried to stop me, but i won! muaha. like dion said, "first we play with water, than play with fire"

the girls then sat down and chat, while the guys invented some soccer game and were going crazy over it.. me? i was clearing up, haha..the cell helped me too,at the start of the clear up, and the guys were laughing at what happened, on the fire, and cindy's cooking..well, at least they had fun..haha..i decided to scrub the floor.. sean and leon helped me, and frankly they did it so they can play with water..but i am very grateful for them, leon is now known as the CG cook and the CG cleaner..haha..then we joined the guys for their soccer game.. cindy called them for some CG meeting but they guys were extremely rebellious.. i think she was angry at them, and called off the meeting.. then the ps2 was set up and they played some games, while screaming at the top of their lungs.. the girls went to the study room, chased me out after that.. tt was the peaceful time for me..haha..

suddenly, a second rat was found by the guys.. wont forget shawn and nick's scream man..ai yo.. we caught it, with much ease this time, and boiled it.. soon, all the members went home, cept for the few who stayed..

guys played ps2 till 5.45.. cindy and sherryl went to bed at ard 2.. i slept ard 2 too, was too tired, and was feeling pretty down.. anyway, wished i had stayed up with them..haha..i dint really know what happen while i was asleep, but i think they had fun.. woke up the lastest too, donno why.. went to catch some shut eye in the master bed room, but was caught later.. haha.. doono why so tired..and why those who slept so little were so energised..

went to the shopping point after that, then had dinner and went home.. guys played some daytona..yeah, i sua ku.. then i went back to school to collect my o lvl cert, spent the day with Jemo..he sure cheered me up, haha..played arcade and bought case for faith.. tomorrow got pw ..argh..

really wish i was in the mood for the cg outing.. but it worked out pretty well, thank God.. hope the peeps had fun.. starting to feel so tired due to cell leading..living it right ísn't so eazy.. and catching up with their interest is worse.. argh..

"smile on the inside, that never comes in"
JOC- Sad clown

pued again

2005-03-22T01:28:00.000-08:00

went to ubin again. this time we did more moutain biking, buttocks hurt.. knees pretty weak now.. nearly got blind when the tree branch scratch across my eye lid, thankfully i am short, see, it pays to be short.
had money probs before we got there, and i learnt that in order to transfer money from an account to another, you need to transfer at least 1000 dollars. Sadly, magesh's account was a little short, so he could not. we did try though, haha..

So we were like, playing torch light on the bus, yeah? and my torch has this morse code nonsense.. magesh sent out some stupid morse code and made us guess it, it was first , SOS.. then, it was the sms ringtone thing, the di di di diiii diiii, di di di... you know? and i realised that, that ring tone coincide with the three letters, S-M-S ( S is ... , M is -- ) .. lame lah, but it was revelation to me..

dint really meant that support group was useless.. i really think that God gavemi my division people because they were the best there is for me.. hai, you guys rocks, sorry if my entry was selfish, i hope you read this!

end off with a quote from Cindy, haha.. if we are really on fire for God, and our hearts are in the right place, everything will go right for cell

Amen.

eyes wide open..

2005-03-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

went to many Confrences this few days..the first one would be Benny Hinns, one.. very awesome, so impressed by the slain-ing, even the pastors helping him got slained.. little children getting healed, Aids no more, very beautiful.. had to leave halfway because the bus services were terminating.. called sheryl too, because that silly girl forgot the time, and i brought her home in a cab in the end.. We had no money, and i had to go withdraw, but the first ATM machine was down..thankfully, God provided another one, and we all got home safely..

Den there was the planet shakers one! that was awesome too.. realised i judge too much, and i rate hype by whether it is good or bad.. but God showed me that there is no such thing as a bad hype, because we are all unworthy.. yet we are justified freely, swang sia..haha..jumped till my legs hurt.. haha, went there with Jeremy tan and jeremy quek, i bought the synergize shirt too!!

attended this worship worshop with Jestyn too.. realised that he blessed me alot, and i hope i learn alot alot in this worshop, lead better worship..

PU

2005-03-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

went to Ubin on monday, it was really pretty fun..

we rented our bikes and went towards the scary looking colonial house in the morning, but halfway there i got reallllllll dizzy, cos i dint eat anything before that.. so Kai Yu went ahead to scout, and he came back telling us that the house is guarded, so we could not go there..

so we went back to the front and drank coconut..the thailand coconut really rocks man, and we had like,2..haha.. Kai Yu also brought fried rice.. after we ate, we went towards the quarry...

when we got there, we found the fence torn, and there was this "no trespassing sign".. but we went in anyway.. it was a long pathway with alot of thorny plants.. and when we reached the bottom, we found..a boat..! it was pretty small, and had a capacity of 2 people.. so kai yu and i went first.. we secured the boat to a string we found.. it was previously used to hold the boat, but it snapped.. after that, we rowed out, pretty lame, and took stupid photos.. then shawn and magesh went on to the boat, they navigated the boat better than us..haha.. all these while we knew we will be in deep soup if we get caught, but thank God we dint.. magesh and shawn rowed out and got this durian, floating in the quarry.. and we went back up, broke the durian and went off.. some family was going in the quarry when we got back, pretty weird..but i am sure they can pay the fine if they get caught..

after that we sped off to the prawn farm.. the door lock, which we broke the previous time, was changed into a newer one.. the gang tried to break the lock again, with a huge rock.. and they kept on smashing the lock with it.. Kai yu and i climbed in first, and the constant smashing caused this bike handle to drop from the back of the sign board.. attached to it was..the lock keys..haha..obviously they dont use that door much, or else they would not hang the keys there. we opened the lock and rode our bikes inside.. when we got in, some dogs started barking at us, and soon the owner came out to chase us away.. very soon, the dog got his friends and chase us! Kai yu dashed for the gate, while i followed magesh, who was with shawn, going up this hill.. i could not bear to leave them fighting with 3 dogs mah.. we got ready to fight the dogs, but the owner call it away..thank God.. but he went to lock the gate, and went off with the keys.. donno wad was he thinking.. we had to carry our bikes out and we also found a smelly dead lizard in the well.. they placed it on the lock for revenge..haha.. but i removed it, and magesh supported me, cos..he said we might want to come back..

then we went of to another part of the quarry..cutting the long story short, i tried to catch the fishes, and they actually come and suck your toes when you place them in the water..haha

then we went to the house, it was pretty scary..cos by that time, it was like 7 pm already..and ubin had no street lamps.. den we went to the beach to just lie down and relax..we also managed to fit all 7 deadly sins in winnie the pooh.. bored people..

when we cycled back, it was night fall already.. Shawn had cramps too.. sian.. had to lie him on the floor to stretch him.. wild boars charged infront of us when we sped back, real scary..

too lazy to type on.. saw spiders with many many babies on its web, like, 100..

amused the cell with this tale today, hopefully i can catch their attention like today for every week, by the grace of God..

and..the morons walked on!

2005-03-12T02:51:00.000-08:00

my entry just got erased.. ARGH..

so i just came back from Dom's party, and it was like, so cool..? haha..the first 3 hours were spent doing nothing, until Kenneth came, along with his girlfriend. Aravinath and raja nearly got drunk..thank Goodness Srikanth threw away the alcohol.. haha.. we also played around the swimming pool..haha..

it was then Dom brought us to his room, and there hangs many lord of the rings blades.. beautiful.. along with maps and the different models..rings.. wowwee.. i love the legolas blade.. we went on chatting in his room until Dom's uncle came in..and started talking about politics..argh.. he went on saying wad, water comes from parents, den i rebutted it comes from God..big mistake..i dont think he is christian.. the rest kept on kicking me, telling me to shut up, cos he was like, talking for over 20 mins? later Raja told me he was drunk.. i doubt so..

Dominck had a pretty horrid past.. hope he gets on with life well..

went out with ben and magesh the next day, and we went home around 6.. i decided to take a short stroll with magesh, but we kept on detouring until we walked on for 3 hours..

first, we walk into the expressway. the overhead bridge was 30 meters away, but we dare not risk it, dont want to die.. it is the expressway..so we climbed down this drain thingi, and went on..to a HUGE detour which was like, 1 km, in exchange for that 30 meters..life's little irony.. haha.. Magesh also told we that was his second time walking the expressway, the first was when he was in kindergarden, and he decided to take a walk down the Expressway one fine day..haha..

Then we ended up walking this big patch of field wif dog poop and frogs..used our HP as light source, but its useless.. towards the end, we had to cross this narrow alley, while clinging onto the fence.. lest we fall into this filty drain.. we marched on, with the ground giving way, pretty dramatic.. hah.. it was dark, and there was one lamp post in the middle of the path.. it was then magesh told me,
"i am not trying to freak you out, but there are alot of spiders above us"

i looked up and heck, spider webs, spiders and red ants were directly above our heads.. we quickly went on but later saw that the road was a dead end, blocked by the school fence.. so we went all the way back, past the nasty field, and there i stepped onto a frog's head, but it dint die, cos i moved away after magesh yelled..haha.. when we went around the field, we realised that we could have continued from the fence there..sian..

the whole night was like that, jumping, exploring, star staring..hhaha..fun sia..

went out with shawn ko the next day, caught the movie series of unfortunate events..den went down to recruit express for his job hunting.. after that, we went walking around in the CBD! becos shawn said he wanted to see more.. like some sua ku..haha... but it was pretty cool, dint know CBD got so many shops.. realised that there was a direct bus home..so happy..haha.. it took me 55 mins though..

just came home from prayer walk..so fun..haha..God rocks.. and came to realise alot of stuffs, like we are insanely unworthy of His grace.. but as i pour down all my pills of unworthyness down the Eno of God's grace, it all dissolves!! YAY!!!
lalala...lala...la...

la.

still pretty depress..hahaha...

2005-03-05T01:43:00.000-08:00

still very sian about my results.. on how i cannot make it to JC becos my mom dont want.. that i dint make it to SAJC.. really need some leaders or mentors to come and encourage me..haha..but its ok, i just need to make sure i be a good leader when my members need me..please help me to be one God..

just recalled the time when Cindy called me at 1.30 am and her first statement was " You still sleeping ah!" haha..crazy sia.. but thank God i wasnt asleep la, and we went on talking about cell..really very glad that God made her my co leader, she trust God very strongly, i donno wad i will do without her man..

went for support grp too, and it struck me on Jia Jun's faith.. it never did died.. and he has the least problems simply because he tries to solve other people's stuff before his.. yeah, he might not be the best speaker or the most attention catching one, in fact he is always the one at the back ground.. but he never fails to support, never fails to aid.. he was the first one to ask me about my results..and the first one to cheer me up.. i had this sudden urge for him to pray for me, haha.. because unlike me, he prays not for people to hear.. really, God uses the weak to show His glory, not that JJ is weak, but this example he is setting really really really speaks to me..

everyone was pretty droney today during support grp.. i dint wanted to go one, but because i need to play for Jan, so i had to go loh..den very quiet, until jan took away my git, and made me comment on the Div. meet.. hai, so i snapped out of sad sad mood, ahah, cos the atmosphere there was pretty heavy already.. donno if that is right or not, cos i nv ask them to support me.. maybe next week la, when they are feeling better

went out with magesh, ben and shawn again..haha..had lunch, played some arcade and pool.. it was fun, but spend like, 18 bucks..hai, had not much money le, working very sian.. so doono where the income is going to come anymore.. family facing some finicial probs.. yeah.. sian..had to leave early too, cos need to go for support grp mah..den bought shoik la, but regretted a little, cos it cost 20 bucks..haha.. hai..bus fare also no money le..

Mom justed walked into the room, she is pretty stressed, cos of all the work.. everynight sleep at, like 6am..sian.. i am also showing her some attitude, cos she is making me go poly, something which i dont want..i see her point la, but i guess i am just being very childish, and she has to put up with me.. feeling pretty bitter, making her go through all this.. she came in to tell me dont always be so upset,cos it hurts her too.. she offered talking to me to sort out the reasons for asking me to go poly and telling her what i actually want.. but i rejected it, cos i pretty much know its pointless.. she is very strong, but i know it hurts inside, i feel very bad.. wonder if i will put this on till i graduate poly..

very very sian..haha, i feel like breaking down..hopefully that wont happen.

Cell members asked me about my results.. think i set a very bad example for them.. hai.. Nick told me, Dont be sad, take pride in what you do and always give thanks to God.. i think thats what he said.. very sweet, it rocks to have such cute members..

thought of Jeremy Tan.. someone who left Church for another church.. met him in choir, he was a good singer and mentor.. he decided to take care of me spiritually when he saw me one day heading towards the kopi tiam alone, and after offering to eat with me, he took up the responsiblity of showing me care.. he made sure i was alright when i looked down, and even after he left, he came back during Christmas to pass me a card..sometimes he will sms sweet msgges, and called me recently to ask me about my results, made sure i made the right choices on poly..even offered to take me down to look at his poly.. i mean, i take care of my cell partially because i need to account to Liduan and Sam, but Jem is doing it out of, his freewill you know.. but i am very passive towards his care..if i were him, i would have gave up on me le loh.. God's love really shine through this brother, i hope God blesses him abundantly..

i also do have this very cool mentor, Celeste.. i guess after having so many leaders, she is the only one who cared loh, i donno how much, but more then the donno how many ldrs i had la.. dont even know how many of them backslided.. she will send me christian songs, until i feel so pai say..every Christmas she will also gimme beautiful cards..she has the nicest cursive handwriting i ever seen..i nv sent any back..sian sia.. asked about my results too, the only leader who did that..haha.. i cannot imagine going on without such leaders.. would have prob. BSed le.. thank God for her undying concern, i pray that God will also show her His undying concern.. hehe..

I guess it helps to count the blessings when one is down.. i realise i have many beautiful people around me, although, very clearly, not perfect, but moulded into huge vessels to hold other smaller vessels through their tough times.. i want to be there when my kids run into problems.. i hope i wont be another hypocrite..

very very upset.. but somehow, God seems nearer now

though the pain is, an ocean
tossing us, around, around and around...
You have calm, greater waters
higher mountains have come down.
JOC-mercy song

sad sia..

2005-03-02T02:11:00.000-08:00

worked on thurs..at Ritz carlton...cool sia, did some cocktail reception, the whole night was cocktail reception..was pretty ez.. got a new nametag..haha..6 bucks..
think the boss quite sing shang wo, asked me to come down and work again..no way man..to tired le.. when i was working, the people ard me were very interesting.. got this guy who is 195 cm..and his fren..both O level results waiters.. den got this malay feller.. who hates a chinese manager i was working for to the core... pretty scary..

went out today. with Magesh, ben and Shawn.. fun la, all the lame nonsense in the git shop, cos ben wanted to get a WAWA padel.. so magesh and i fooled ard.. Shawn got himself a 240 bucks disman too..shiok sia.. used his allowence from Serve..

Alvin is fine too.. thank God.

so the results came out.. i did real badly.. 19 pts.. so sian loh. hai.. cannot go SAJC le.. pretty bitter la, all the prefectorial nonsense.. wished i dint do so much, den do more studying.. Sanjay did pretty badly too..22 .. feel so sad for him..Raja also.. was so nervous b4 the results we had to calm him down.. hai.. srikanth also.. did badly..Mark dint qualify for SA too.. i think these are the peeps who should get the scores they want loh..hai........hope Cherlene gets to stay in SA too..

Ben got what he wanted, tts pretty cool..

Very sian loh.. mom forcing me to go poly.. i want to try out in SRJC.. but cannot loh.. hai ..damn sian... dont feel like going to Church, everyone will be asking .. real irritating.. dint really honour God with my results.. feel pretty crappy now.. ahha..

hope i'll handle situations properly..

2005-02-24T01:16:00.000-08:00

hie.....

long time no post bloggie..

i kept on reminding myself i want to blog, cos all my memories are pretty much gone le..had alot of things to write, but i cant remember any of them already..

Went to work, tough man... did banqueting at first.. i can remember the first time i did banquet, i had to pour dry ice into a bucket of HOT water when the couple walks in. before that, there was this kid who keeps on running towards my bucket and repeatively attempt to touch it.. was so frighten loh, and the stand supporting the bucket was not even stable..thank God nothing happened..
people in banquet are amazingly vulger too.. but inside they are very nice people, who are willing to teach, and the number one rule is to never bear a grudge, haha.. just move on man.. met interesting people, like vincent, crazy feller..haha.. some O lvl results "waiters" (literally..).. it was pretty awesome i must say..
worked in Pan Pacific for 3 days, i dont think i will be going back le, haha.. it was fun, i learnt alot, how to use a serving gear, how to pin cloths to the table, how to move tables, bla bla bla bla bla..
the one thing i dint learn was to serve, esp. the toopid fish. heck, the first time i cut it, the guest were laughing at me, cant stand that.. in the end he cut his own fish..haha.. cannot bear grudges..yeah, badd experience..got bad comments for that..
oh, for the first two days i had these unpatientestestest partner.. i was new wad... both were from China, cant stand them.. scold and scold, the 2nd partner came and rebuke me when i was serving loh..haha.. k la, must forgive la.. my third partner was pretty cool, she cant speak chinese, cos she is not chinese,but she keeps on trying to say short sentence in chinese, like, bu yao, ni hao..haha.. pretty old, like 18?.. but she is very funny, keep on going ard telling people i am her new boyfriend..hahahahahaah...we both got bad comments, but i know its my fault..she dint blame me, haha, even suggested we get rid of the comment card..hahaah..sweet girl, too bad i dont think i am going back anymore le..wasted..

had this office job too.. it was about checking whether bank cards for this Primary school works.. each card must be tested 20 times..sian man, i tell you..initially we had to test it 30 times,but the guy cut short the testing, so more cards can be tested..thank God.. met serena, from Spdlite, dint know her, but realise we were in the same church after we talked..cool eh! got this old boy from SA too.. Ming Jiun.. cool sia.. made alot of frens, very nice collegues, thank God they were my age range, unlike Janissa..AHAHAAH... had lunch together, very the shoik..haha..

been going out alot lately, trying to clear debts too..haha..broke le broke le.. bought too many "a way of escape"..sian mann... haha..buy in faith..hahahaha.. going out with magesh and ben is the best man, i nv luff so hard b4.. we went to pizza hut, and mess the whole place up, created stupid dishes with our leftovers.. made fun of ben like nobodies business..haha..sorry ben.. went out alot of times too..haha, its nice to hang out with dumb people.. dumlets..haha..

had the Prefects Commendation last week..brilliant.. went back to receive "Good service award".. unfortunately, i dint get any photographs and we messed up the bowing..hahahahhahhaha..dang it man!
it was the last time i will be wearing a blazer too.. in fact, that uniform.. pretty sentimental eh..haha.. bye bye prefects, do well k..
had the Com. camp too..went back as ex prefect..shiok la, play and play,with Jestyn, Sanjay.. that crazy senior daniel.. haha.. had this night walk thing, too bad the new prefects dint get creeped out..unlike previous years.. the new building is beautiful.. i climbed up to the roof with Ser. Dan. .. might be sealed up after that.. very windy, wished someone was there with me..hahaah...bigg area, for the air con vents.. nice sia.. the way up was pretty scary, very dark..yup.. shoik sia..
Jammed with jestyn at 6am..? but i felt pretty drained out le.. so went to sleep in the LT after that.. crazy prefects were so noisy..donno luffing at what, which kept me awake man.. found myself on the floor in the morning, got up, went for breakfast, and headed home.. nearly lost my wallet in Mac, thank God i dint..

Went to nap, den headed down for the SAJC funfair...Raja asked me to go cos some people made Srikanth buy the tix in advance but dint buy it from him..i dint ask him to buy la, but i helped him out abit..so nice right..broke le still help..haha.. pretty sian la, walked ard with Snr Dan. den received some call from Meiling asking me to fill in for MS.. tell you i nearly went crazy sia..so tired le, still have to go down to SAJC , den 40 mins later to church..wasted 10 bucks.. but Meiling was pretty tired looking for subs, so i went.. hahaha..was sooo mad at God, thank God He isnt mad at my moronism.. slept in the MS sermon..too tired le.. but wont do that anymore, its wrong..if i want to serve, i must give my all first.. Titus slept with me..i am pretty sure he is so drained out too.. haha..

this week, i went out EVERYDAY!.. results coming out le mah.. den i met alot of people.. i met Titus outside my house, amazingly..haha..was so surprised..he was as surprised as me.. Met Kingston, Lynn in TM, met Charity 3 times in two days..haha.. once in Citylink and twice in TM, on the second day..coincidental sia, but its a pretty weird joke too..

for tomorrow, i need to go help ah da work, at Ritz.. very nervous, hopefully everything turns out well, and i can make some money..hai..broke le broke le..please help me God..!shud be getting my results on friday, sian sia..haha..

tts all for this boring period of Jan and Feb.. i am sure more things happened, but i cant remember..

I LOVE JEM!!!

2005-01-15T03:02:00.000-08:00

so shoik.. Jeremy gave me a mercy me CD for Christmas.. just passed it to me..haha..Thank God!!!

last sunday was a pretty awesome day.. haha, i know.. blogging at such a late time.. some cell mbms gave back the evaluation form..
I AM SO PROUD OF THEM~~
they sat down and did it.. on foolscape.. and really, they were trueful.. i am so blessed man, i really hope the other forms are very done sincerely.. ah.. haha..so glad loh..
went to serve Spdlite after my long break... hmm.. i actually forgot to set my phone to silent mode, or off it.. and hai, someone called at the first song.. i was so afraid the mike will pick it up loh.. it also received an sms la, and the phone just ring every 5 mins.. goodness.. i heard Engie turn to Celeste and say smth, and the peeps infront kept on turning ard.. i really wanna break my phone at that moment.. ruined the Spirit's movement man..
later,i called back. the call was a wrong call. the sms was sent by my cell member asking for the choir schedule. IrOnic.. .. .. ..
nah, i caught something.. i have a tendency of going to cloud nine after something good happens, (evaluation form).. so much so that i dont focus on the things ahead. i pretty sure God is telling me, that if Everytime He sents something good i take up some pride, it will be unthinkable when He sents alot of em.. i need to becareful, and yeah, all glory is His..

Went out with Magesh,Ben Chua and Boyu.. haha.. hai, they all in JC.. really cant stand it when peeps go JC and brag all about it.. yeah, they have the right to do it, and its called sharing..haha.. but i feel super sian when i read it off MSN nick.. haha, thank God these pals dont do that, i feel comfortable when they talk about their JC experience, i guess, cos they know how i feel? i donno..haha.. had taohui on monday nite i think.. the funny thing is that we dashed across the road, we sort of argued on the money, BC and I spit on Magesh and Boyu's face accidently ( laughing went out of control) .. haha, that was so funny.. we laughed about this girl Boyu think is pretty.. very bad ah, haha..

we also went out on thursday.. watched seed of chucky.. goodness! its THE worse film i have ever watched.. was so angry at the storyline, not that it had any.., the scenes, the director( wad was he thinking?).. basically everything.. dint even felt like eating my chachos..
so after the film, i took the chachos and walked out.. we saw a mediacorp van and the camera crew were out, shud be filming on the chicken stall near by.. we walked on and *wosh* i fell into a o.8 meter drain... ouchhh... had the chachos cheese spilt all over me man...not far away was a lady, who saw wad happened and SCREAMED... doono for wad, not as if i got shot wad.. and, yeah, she helped me catch alot of attention.. like, 20 peeps gathered.. goodness..
Ben Chua first reaction was to luff, tts wad he said.... ARGHH.. Magesh rushed to me and stun... tts wad he said.. i think Boyu stun finish pull me up, i think la, haha( thats wad he said..)but they all helped me up and walk with me, and haha, i dint really felt embarrassed cos they were there, being so concern.. they helped me tear plasters and the alcohol strips, yeah.. thank God for them.. i felt so grateful then.
i was very amazed at how i fell.. i dint injure myself badly,cos my leg managed to not give way, and i was still upright.. a lil dirty water on my leg, tt was the worse part of it. i dint hit my spine, but the fleshy part beside it, minor scratch.. my arms also hit the sides,i could still catch my balance.. and had very minor cuts.. really, i thank God for holding me, or sending His angels to hold me, which prevented me from falling. It may be no big deal, but my older bro just came back saying one of his fren tore his ligament and dislocate his hip by falling on a grasspatch after he lost his balance while running.. goodness..

pretty long blog, alot happened mah.. haha.. ahh, thank God..

2005

2005-01-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

i regret not blogging for Dec. becos alot alot of things happened.. i cant even remember le, wasted sia..haha.. but i was too lazy to blog la, must write so long..haha..

well, to start it all, i can recall the pre-speedlight camp. ha, pretty awesome, really hope that the kids know God more le.. hmm.. yah.. it was pretty insane, so many noisy kids.. but i realise why God love kids, becos they are really sincere, and when they sing, very very very nice..haha.. gosh, as they grow up, really hope that they will be brought into the Spirit realm asap, b4 their heart hardens..

oh, i went as a assistant grp ldr, to help Linda.. haha.. she is very zai, very gentle..haha.. got all the different kids, haha.. got Ryan, rach's bro.. Jonathan, Charity's bro, Josos, Salome's bro, and serene, Darren's sis.. woh, too bad i dint get leon, or else can have collectors item le..i also got Ranon.. Ryan, Jonathan and Ranon is super cute, they are forever in a world of their own.. skit that time all lying on the floor, donno doing wad.. hmm..haha.. i also got Lemule in my group.. wonderful leader, just a little bit too, hmm, proud i guess. Annabella is a quiet little girl, hah, and ah, Shawn, my cell member. got to know Josos a lil better, wah, love his genuine character man..

All the precious jewels in God's treasure box.

i got to know Jan so much better too. previously i always thought she is someone who cares for people becos, well, i donno.. but till recently she advise me on some issues and ha, i guess it really spoke to me.. my head is very big one, when people advice me, i wont take one, just down there 'orh' 'orh' 'orh'. but she really woke me up , haha.. cool..

wanted to write on one. but Dion called as i was blogging.. hmm.. Changing Church.. he spoke to me of the cell condition too.. guess he implied that i was a bad leader and lead the cell the wrong way.. true, gosh i need to do this properly.. i know he dint mean that, but it all sums down to this.

hmm..

oh yeahh..

2004-12-19T01:24:00.000-08:00

this is going to be one lonnnnggggg blog.. alot happened in this week..

first i had primary school chalet... woh shoik la, at down town east.. it was pretty cool to meet frens tt i hanged out with last time, and frankly, all of us changed.. haha.. its pretty cool to be looked as the clown too, hahaa... if any of the 603 peeps read this, i am not tt sparstic outside one, really really.. really really.. really Sara,really..

had to leave in the middle of the chalet, but for a good cause.. Kenny had called for a three day prayer on thurs, fri and sat.. throughout this period of time, i learnt alot... was pretty dry after all the leading.. and i really just kept on focusing on how to lead better... and on thursday, after all the confusion, all the weird things running in my head, i guess God spoke..Kenny was praying on denying oneself.. and i thought back to those times in CHS where they talked on denying oneself.. and He asked me

"Where is your first love?"

haha.. cry and cry.. all i could mubble was , idonno,iamsorry... Joanne was beside me praying for me, i think..haha.. tt felt so good... truely, all He wants is not our deeds but us, as in us, useless we might be..

went back chalet after tt.. shoik la, more peeps came, but they had to go back shortly.. they only came for the BBQ.. wasted..caught up with a few old frens.. thank goodness not too many peeps stayed back too, cos it was so crowded in the room! CS and BR actually slept at the balcony..mad peeps.. haha

for both nitez, i intro the games and puzzles..hai, wad will they do without me? haha no lah! the games so lame, i nearly thought they wanted to stone me.. chit chat until so late.. the other times were spent in the room playing majong, Xbox or the TV.. i learnt how to play MAjong too!haha.. it was fun la!

everything ended on fri.. Ping Yuan had to go M'sia after tt, crazy.. wonder how he survive.. CS also, going M'sia on sat..

fasted on sat... really realise wad is fasting .. my flesh died and during worship, i felt so cold.. but so so awake, like, crazy awake, like when the Spirit is alive.. it feels good, and really must fast more le, hahaha..

dont feel like blogging le, haha.. tomorrow got cell! WHEEEEEEEEEE

glass shards on the floor

2004-12-12T23:34:00.000-08:00

hmm.. just had a ldrs retreat.. it was pretty awesome, cos its really time off to just know each ldr better and draw nearer to God.. Wei hao and Zheng hong shared on "silence and solitude" and "fasting" respectively.. it was so cool... like all the older ldrs teaching spiritual discipline.. it was very awesome.. Zheng Hong started the sharing with The Lord's Prayer.. so cool..learnt alot.. ahh.. morning devotion was taken by triston, so nice too.. haha.. but i fell asleep during QT..so jia lut..
last day was like, the maddness.. cos we played vollying for like, 3 hrs?! from 2 to 5.. then i had soccer with Bro Sam.. haha... he only had 45 mins of sleep for tt day.. gosh.. he just told me tt he had insane muscle ache the day after.. poor chap..hahahahahah... but frankly i got to know him more..
on the whole, i expected more, but i guess i have to do my own share of seeking..

speaking of seeking, i am at the brim of cross roads man... its like the smooth path is over, and to walk on, to have a stronger relationship with God, to lead on for cell, i have to start walking on glass sheds... i doono wad to do le, its insane i tell you.. today is so chaotic.. cell attendence 13.. gosh, if nth is done, i am going to bring down alot of potential lives man.. how? how? how?
i also tend to see my spiritual walk as a race with other people, a competition.. tts so bad, cos harbour alot of pride.. i donno wad to do le, i dont want to come up with theories and try to solve my own probs, or cell probs le.. i am so sick of the surface man.. i need to dive deeper, and i have no clue on how to do that.. besides, there are glass sheds on the floor.. how man, how God?

thank goodness i have Jeremy.. different Church.. but i think i am the most accountable to him.. he makes afford to check on me leh! goodness.. i dont think i can even share with peeps in Church tt well, but who cares.. must make sure as time passes by, i make afford to check on my church peeps..if i dont BS..haha, no lah, wont one la..

the last thing i need, is to be heard.. but to hear, what You have to say..

Please speak.

div. outing, retreat, whatever..

2004-12-06T01:08:00.000-08:00

fiew, had a division retreat, or rather stayover on friday and sat. it was fun! haha.. we went to kayak first, and i got capsized 10 times loh, crazy peeps...hah.. i flip kenny's boat once, so proud of myself! haha.. we paddle with the wave la, and had SO much difficulty paddling back.. in the end, Mich, meiling, denise and i ended up stranded... had to borrow this trolley, thank goodness.. those guys even helped us carry it outside la.. haha.. we also ended up blocking this grp of ns man marching..so embarrassing..haaha.. we returned the kayak late, and had a fine of 5 bucks.. had to push the trolley all the back too, haha, with meiling sitting on it..lame, she even got the no. of the guy who helped us.. friendly chap..
then we stayed over meiling's uncle house..the div. had bbq there while i pop of to choir prac.. wah, madness loh choir prac, no overseer, no scores, not much stuffs loh, and the performance is on the 19th... madness... we still prac, nevertheless, and i hope we will make it in time for the performance..
Jan was pretty tired tt day, she had grad nite the nite b4... hah, and we went to Meiling's uncle house after tt... the div asked us to buy stuffs, and Jan and i took the bigger maggie mee while the rest got cup noodles..eheh..
had evaluation there.. it was good, lasted till 2 in the morning.. and Jan had to go home after tt.. at 4! madness.. she got scolded i guess..hai.. sorry Jan!
slept tt too...b4 tt we had like, card games..so lame la!!hahahahahaha... all the nonsense came out.. heard tt xiao zhong ( the dog there) tried to hump kennys leg too..haha..he was quite affected..haha...
next day, we woke up pretty late.. Cindy and i had a meeting..haha.. and we went of for lunch.. after tt went home le..everyone was so tired..i had to get ready for sunday..

sunday was pretty mad! i woke up late and cannot go morning service..hai ya.. promised to meet dion and sheryl one, but they also dint go..haha.. for cell, i was pretty frustrated when they made so much noise, and i just kept quiet.. i guess they got pretty freaked out when i did it like, 3 times, and they listened for cell..haha..so cool eh, hai.. the cell needs more discipline ah..
Engie asked me to do another solo..but i realised tt i cannot.. cos i simply donno why i am serving le, so i asked for break..haha..i really wanted to do tt solo, bt then again..i also donno if i serve man or God.. hai.. for choir prac, Engie made us do weird stuffs..haha..but it was fun.. for the warm up.. yup.. was feeling pretty down, donno why..hah.. hmm..

yup..

hols are here!

2004-12-02T00:37:00.000-08:00

gosh, the hols are all over the place man.. i have so much things to write..
i brought some cell members out on tuesday, but i think its more of them bringing me out, haha,cos i really donno the area... we played CS, hai, so malu, then soccer..quite fun ah, got a blister..haha..went home before 5..correct wad, bring p6 kids out..
the next day i went to pular ubin with magesh and kai yu.. went there to bike, shoik man, all the cool slopes..
they climbed in a few areas that are restricted loh, crazy fellers.. and i have to follow..hahaa... we went in this "unstable" house, tts wad the sign says..and try to explore it.. the front door was unlocked, and we walked in..the whole house was boarded up, so its very dark..gosh we were freaked out, and had to walked in so slowly.. we even went up, and i had to close the door which had no door nob..tts was spooky..haha.. the two of them found some newspapers, lighters and poker cards.. hah.. at the front porch there..there were some sort of table there lah, i guess its not tt deserted at all..haha
we had no touch lite ah, then walk a few steps jiu went out le, cannot take it..haha..still can remember quarreling which one of us will lead..
after tt i had some headache, and it was starting to rain.. wah, nv cycle tt fast b4, i dint break at the insane slopes..haha, soooooooooooooo fun.. the feel of wind gushing onto my face, got to do it again man.. nearly died a few times too! haha..thank God i dint fall..
i went back to school today..had to do pack the doc. again.. sort of my last job lah.. hai, so mch things to pack lah, super sian man..whee..
tomorrow going to play soccer with dion again..i hope i can get richard to come..yeah..

bleh..

2004-11-25T01:43:00.000-08:00

Grad nite just over.. wah wee.. tts like, a chapter closed man.. everyone thought everyone is bring a cam, in the end, not many peeps brought it... took so little photos..hah... wasted eh!
donno how to feel, wont be seeing alot of peeps le, wont be having the same classmates or even school mates le... wont be having the same CCA le... still, it feels good to get out of the school, after all the pressure and stuffs..yeah.. its really donno whether to laugh or cry..
after grad nite, i just zao4 cos we booked movie tix.. haha, wanted to take more photos, but i just zao4... felt so.. hmm..pityful.. hah..
we caught the movie, and it was pretty funny..haha..taxi.. crazy shawn shot me in the fingers.. argh..ahaha... after that Ben and Shawn went home, cos they cant stay out..Magesh and i found a grp of SA boys, yit jing they all, and hanged out till 7.. haha
we walked ard spore, after they had pool lah, and saw alot of cops.. donno why they surround this pub, and the gang actually wanted to go there loh..madness... saw a guy got thrown out from a pub too.. and this bunch of bikers being stopped by the cops..
Max and Mun hon smoked too.. dumboos.. Mun hon say he sure wont get addicted, and i realised tts becos its his first full stick..
caught the first train and went home..sooooo tired..haha.. it was fun lah, before that, we had breakfast at lao pa sa... argued with the auntie..ahah... the nice way, cos its pretty hard to communicate with her
tts grad nite for me, wonder if i will miss it.. hmmmm....
when i reached home, my bros were nt asleep man.. there are insane.. with them were Lam and Ming, my older bros frens..they tried to drag me for breakfast, but i was too tired..hah..
when i woke up, it was 3 le, Magesh called and we went out again! ahha.. watched Saw, with ben and boyu.. gosh, i kept on holding Boyu at the scary scenes..ahhaha..wad a moron..
alot had happen since i last blogged, alot of major stuffs, like my bdae..gosh that was fun, my family celebrated, my cell, my division, choir..felt so loved..hehe..got a git too!! takamine g series..sure its not That good, but i love it...
and the end of my o lvl!! wohoo.. ahha..too happy to blog then..
and more calling from God..argh.. i donno wad to do.. argh..i blog another day..
and been talking to this certain girl more often, ahah.. as Jan said, dont be cheeky ah ling quan...
oh well.. life is good, (saw is bad..)

who do i serve, me or You? Glory versus love..

went out to play

2004-11-09T00:07:00.000-08:00

whee hoo.. dint do any studying today.. the only thing i did was found out the defination of melting point and how to tell the colour bands of the resistors..
went out to play instead...so stupid! haha..was the funniest day in my life.. we walked ard the esplanard, however you spell that, and crap here and there..hahah, went to the library there to find out how "exclusive" it was.. there, we found so much joy in the CD player.. haha, when one of ous put it on, we would start speaking REAL loud there, to hear ourselves.. and its a library, mind you.. i spoke the loudest, and SK refused to speak loud.. haha, nearly got chased out, thank goodness it was closing time..
then went to get drinks and stuffs.. had dinner in KEnny Rogers..hah, i still deserve the chair, according to SK and magesh.. they actually told me that when you tense your muscles when a mosquito bites you, it will get stuck!
ended the day with pool...ah..tt was fun...
hah..better startmugging like nobodies business... happy bdae LQ..

wohh..

2004-11-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

quite shoik, i went for Sushi Buffet todaYY!!!
the gang was pretty lame, the resturant could not locate a 5 seater for us, and we had to sit at the bar there... they placed us near the kitchen loh, so haha.. we ended up playing with the conveyer belt.. we sent food back to the kitchen as soon as it came out and we placed all 8 wasabi containers together..ehehe.. how lame right!
the lady came later the seperate the wasabi... so sad.. we even called ourself the uniters of wasabi front. UWF.
dint blog for quite a time.. nothing much happened la, except that my calculator died on me as soon as the invigilator started the paper, dint go for support grp and morning service, alot of peeps joing choir and embarrasing myself after choir ended..argh..

hey Big Guy..

2004-10-31T08:31:00.000-08:00

Dear God

i was typing all the bad things on how i cannot make it anymore yesterday on the blog before i closed the window when my bro walked in.. and i guess You made me do that on purpose.. You wanted to show me that yeah, its more than my whinings..its trusting You..even to the point of doubts...
Pastor Chee was talking about the wilderness and i wondered.. how come when these people saw you part the red sea and still challenge You? all the wonders You did and still they complained? why the wilderness God? and i figured that its the same for me.. i cannot bear myself to trust in You in the times of trouble, though You had been there telling me Your existence. Sorry Big Guy.. help me trust You, and lead me out of my wilderness...
wad wld happen if the Isrealites trusted You..? wld the World be different now? if I trust you now, wld my results be soo different?

"You will overcome, and the trials you go through
will fall one by one, as My grace pours over you."
seek Me and find Me by CFNI

falling ill..

2004-10-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

ok..its a nice nice sunday.. as usual.. ahhhhh...

i cant believe that, yeah, i managed to talk to people more now..haha..God You rox.. today cell had div. meet cos..Kenny wanted to address them on his leave. He is taking up the new batch of alpha youths and the new leaders. I pray that it will be a better division, due to his experence and the fire of the new leaders. There is some sadness stirring up cos well, Kenny is leaving, and heck, he taught me ALOT ALOT of things.. so thankful to him, and God, that our paths crossed.. hmm.. hope he has a easier time next year!

Been thinking of the new leaders too.. mixed feelings i guess... my batch, hai, wish i could lead with them, it would be so fun. Ah, God called me to this Division, i am gratful... i wish Mark would consider taking up ldrship...see how ah..

falling ill leh, then got Os in 9 days.. how am i going to survive?

...sigh...

2004-10-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

Just came back from support grp.. feeling so..er, disguisted with myself.. donno why..hai..

I seriously think i have a major problem communicating.. every wrong thing i will say.. then i try to just tiam tiam, but tiam tiam also cannot, cos like you not supportive or very tao.. hai.. open mouth also cannot, close mouth also cannot..sian...Sharon said in choir tt i like "lang zi" which i take it as loner lah.. bo bian mah, i cant even like, talk to people well.. some are soo popular, you donno wad to talk about, some are well, i donno..i just cant approach them.. i don mind being alone, its fun, i just hate it when they give me this weird stare.... .. .. .. . .. . . .. . .. . . . .... . . .. .. . .. .
Maybe its cos i am younger, or cos i say stupid things.. whatever it is, i guess i shoud shut up more and avoid crowded places.. dont really think i would go back to support grp after next week..i feel very awful there.... i think i just say all the wrong things, and yeah, get on everyone's nerves.. prevention is better than cure right

quite tired, irritated by myself, amazed at how i can get on everybodies bad books without even trying, wow, i am so proud of myself

I thank God for letting me lead with Cindy.. she is so matured, i have so much to learn from her..

hmm..wads this..?!

2004-10-21T05:59:00.000-07:00

i am tying this in another com, and hmm..apparantly, there are more functions! wad the... like.. this... gogopowerrangers.. cool eh..hahahaha, okok, i am a sua ku, bigggg deal..

i bought the new album by "by the tree" today, eh, i like the name ok.. i suppose tree refers to the Cross...sweet.. the songs are quite cool.. Previously, i wreack all my CDs and like, i cant find a single one now.. so i intend to start protecting my CD's-to-be.. i hope i can do so, starting from this CD..

Had chem prac. today, gosh, it was madness... i calculated the Mr for sodium to be 19, arghh... cant believe this.. sad ah.. then left the extended qns blank.. donno how to do at all.. haha..wasted..hope i still can do well...

Head hurts... hurt hurt hurt..

17 And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing and have nothing: make something of me. You can do it; You got what it takes--but God, don't put it off.
psalms 40:17

its a mystery indeed...

2004-10-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

well..i just like, mug finish for the day.. and it turns out to be a boring night after all the work in the morning.. I had this weird urge to talk to someone the whole day.. argh, cant take it..

saw Mason and Daniel Blog.. beautiful..haha.. read some of Dan's entries too, ahaha..i wonder how they fit the bike into his pants too, maybe he just has huge pants.. anyway, pokemon is stupid lah.. it would be cool to own a chalizard though..eheh..Saw your entry on forgiveness too.. wow, dint know you had such a serious side, on account that you always poke me when you walk past me.. (ok, lousy excuse)

i really wonder what is going to happen.. to cell, to studies.. am i going to be a good ldr? can i bring these kids into worship? where is Richard? gosh.. how do you actually look out for him.. God dont let me lose him... how to make them worship? i think it must start with me.. why am i asking these qns only now..? argh.. so tired.. Bro. Sam said ldrs are lonely at times, i think i just dont click well with my Church frens..wait, i dont click well anywhere.. arghh..wad am i suppose to do..?

10 more days to O level.. God, are you really going to let me tide through this? At this stage, i see myself as someone who will retain loh.. hai, not doubting you.. but.., just abit dissapointed tt i cant go anywhere for 1st three mths..

On the lighter side, i played soccer in class today with those crazy peeps, Amar, Ben, Shin Wei and Xiong Chin..lolx.. quite fun ah, just that we all regreted playing...after the game, none of us could focus..but hey, it was fun!

Just a bit tired now, of all the things running in my head..still have the weird urge to talk to someone..arghh..

going to mug till i foam in the mouth

2004-10-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

hello, hello, hello.. such a fun day..God, thanks for bringing in 26 peeps today!!!!!!! wow wow wow..
I realised that, these kids are still kids man.. some topics cannot be opened to them, simply because they are kids.. must be careful in picking topics now.. haha.. ouch.. wonder when will they mature!

had like, talked to rachel the most today, haha..she is quite sweet eh..haha..crazy enough to sign up for theory exam on the 30th of Oct... hope she will do well! Denise is in NY... and i am mugging and stressing..arghhhhhhhh!

today overslept.. nv go morning service..hai yah...

I love such days..simple and ez.. yeahh..Thank God~

Up and On

2004-10-15T00:19:00.000-07:00

sniff sniff... there goes a chapter in SAS.. had a farewell assembly and well, i need no come back for lessons or morning assembly anymore! today was the last day of a "Normal" school day, its kidda sad huh..

haha, during lessons we actually had fun, while the other class were mugging.. wad to do, o levels so near.. but the strange thing is that, even when Mdm Tan and Mr Koh teach, the class actually listened... for the first time, i actually see the class listen with such attentiveness... i guess they acknowledge that it is, afterall, the last day of secondary school.. took alot of photos, plus alot of crap, ahaha, the class tried to play truth or dare, but pity Mr Koh walked in at that time.. oh well! he tried to tell us of past students..haha, that was interesting!

the farewell assembly was alright lah, not bad lah.. the mike keep on failing la! stupid mikes.. the teachers special, cannot hear the solo.. sian.. the speeches keep on getting cut off in the middle, alamak kenneth said he will donate TWO mikes when he gets his first million... the crowd was supportive lah, amazingly.. haha.. we had real fun, or memorable fun, wadever.. Miss Chua and Aravinth actually spoke on behalf of "reflections of a teacher / student" respectively, and i am the only name mentioned in both speeches! so honoured..heheh... actually Miss Chua quite chio ah, lolx.. she said i changed from a shy boy to a wad, someone who dares to lead hymn in the morning..haha.. sweet.. Teachers item was "If we hold on together"..nice.. haha.. well..tt was a closing chapter...

we left to do our stuffs after that.. S1 went to find Miss Lee to take photo and give present (to her, some glass mug)..haha..and after that i went to collect authograph..first time, and i got like, 5 teachers personal comments, wohoo!Miss Lee rejected to sign my authograph cos..she bz..wah liao... then i left lah, cos meeting Skrinth and Jesytn for badminton..hehe.. Kenny said that was so primary school, i found it meaningful loh ( the autograph, not badminton)..

had a shoik game of badminton, Raja jaja joined us.. doubles right, me and jaja beat Skrinth and Jestyn 4 sets to 2 sets! whohoo! hahaha.. must play again after Os...

after that i went to Support grp.. haaha.. can tell Kenny is trying to make me feel more welcome, and yeah, tts so nice.. haha.. felt a bit closer to them now.. hope Jan will cope with her stress and like.. be peaceful.. oh, Michelle is joining us!!

wad an awesome day, thank you God..! better go off now, have to pray for tomorrows testimony.. and wake up early to meet Senior Daniel.. lala.. over and out!

2 more days to my er, despair and joy

2004-10-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

hello, hello, hello, hello

so much crap.. had a good game of badminton with Shawn today, shoik sia, he sweats alot, and he throws racquet, ahhahaha... rejected Ping Lon too, cos shawn wanted one on one.. but never say no straight in the face lah, hai, feel so bad...

yeah, two more days to study break, or as nat puts it, no more morning assembly forever! hai, haha, is that good or bad? i wonder.. no more secondary school friends..hai.. sad sad sad.. trying to enjoy my last week in school, but how too?! so much work, hahaha...

heard Stacy Orrico on TV, one of the old songs, i think is I could be the one, haha, quite nice ah, its good to know there are Christian songs played on TV..sweet.. encouraged me also, cos yah, God can use anyone..

have to study le ah uncle, you got competition with Shawn tomorrow remember?

"Lord i wish i could praise You with adaquate words, but it wld be endless.."

2004-10-11T22:31:00.000-07:00

HAha, lame graduating prefects came up with the all new, latest, installment of room games! aka. sepa takru (sue me for my spelling)... and i came up with the idea of the net! wohhoh! dint dare to play cos er, they very pro..haha, Raja kept on using his head, and haha..someone retorted that he finally found a use for his head..so bad!! hahaha.. better not mention names..... (it was Jestyn) ahha, Teenash asked me to note in the the archive..yeah right! such a lame, but fun, game ... anyway i where got archive..alamak..

this are the sweet memories i leave behind when i leave school..the real fun.. ahaha... sigh.. one more week LQ..one more week..

today amaths mock! before got geog and ss mock..wah..siann... amaths mock Mr. Koh kept on insisting on helping me..haha, but i think i failed him..so sian.. must work harder!!

actually i wonder why i nv note down precious moments in my lifes.. and i realise its because i am afraid that when i read it again, i will start to miss the times we had.. time is now like, a hindering factor to joy? and hai.. the more you grow, the more you see things, to the negative side... hai.. God, your heaven will be beautiful and timeless right... can still remember the times when i was so young, my mind would wander to sad events and i will feel so discourage.. am i trying to avoid such cases again..? gosh..

sad things aside.. i am sure i will miss my prefects when i leave school.. buddies, you will always be in my heart..

20 more days to O lvl.. drew up a time table (finally) and yeah, realise i got no more time, donno why i can find time to sit here and type.. want to vent my feelings on my thoughts i guess...lalalla..

yes, the time is wrong for all the previous post, ahhaha... Dion sms-ed me, i was suppose to call him!! arghh.. he asked me wad to bring, cos PSLE over..haha, bring nothing lah uncle.. and he said i proved no help, hahahaaha..i see wad he bring tomorrow man..

need to go kun le, tomorrow wont be a fun day, got english tuition...2 compos to finish..hai, haaii... haaaaaaaiiiiiiiii... lalalla

I'm just one of the many to stand and confess, and yet still You hear me...

sunday, sunday is a day

2004-10-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

just reached home from Church, kinnda tired, fearful too..for tommorrow is really a hectic day, and i may not be able to face the pressure..haha... at least today was good!

Went home with some peeps, so fun, cannot take it for granted, cannot get too into it either.. wad the heck am i mumberling about?

today's sermon was a nice one,i learn quite alot, esp. Pastor Rony's one..haha, i nearly typed Pastor Ronies.. so lame right, sorry...

need to mug le, dont think i will update blog so often anymore, God help me in my studies, and allow me to study!

" the greatest injustice is the road which Christ took to the cross"

sian sat. sian sian sian sian.

2004-10-09T06:59:00.000-07:00

so bothered by something regrading power..wish God would grant me the power to overcome this...

its another boring day, wanted to go MS and serve, but scared mom dont allow, so nv asked..wanted to really mug, but i nv mug in the end, cos quite troubled ah.. yup..

alvin is trying to convince me of his biological kids and wife again, agrhhh... i cant believe i played along too.. oh no..haha.. but its really quite lame, oh well.. tomorrow got cell..wonder wad will happen tomorrow, cos nv do proper follow up..hai..must do follow up next week! mom is so mad tt i nv study.. but i cant really focus ah.. ahhaii..

pray that tomorrow will be a wonderfully relieving day..

"Okay, here's the plan..."

2004-10-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

ahh..just came back from support group.. made alvin sooo mad today cos i was late for like, 30 mins and i made him late.. so irritating ah me.. i was quiet too, for the whole day, cos.. was thinking of some stuffs lah, like, how un supportive support group is to me, and yeah.. i realise that its just me, not getting the desired er, relationships with my ldrs..i guess i am too blame, cos, i dint try hard enuf.. i guess this testify to the fact that, human fails.. and well, God doesnt..!
Kenny shared on trusting God today.. nt the usual stuffs i guess, its more of an illustration of King Saul.. of how he did not follow God's commands.. the Israelites wanted a King, which means they disregrad God as their King.. so, ook, God told them, yeah, here is your king, as long as you guys follow me, everything will be fineee... but yeah, Saul nv follow God's game plan!! (very brief ah) and.. well, i need to really follow God's GAME PLAN, no matter how different it sounds from what i have in mind.. hopefully His plan is something like, rest, I give you A1s..haha...

had a good round of badminton too, but thats not why i was late! i think alvin thinks that, hai, bo bian lah, next time dont be late can le.. but its so hard, i stay in YCK leh, Church is in tampines leh..

yeah.. had some reflections.. and i want to stop folding those hearts le, prob. going to throw all (abt 256 of them ) away.. thus ends the stupid crush, she wont like me anyway..haha.. lalalla

end of the battle..start of the war..

2004-10-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

okkie... madness day is over.. ahh... as i sit down and just recollect my thoughts, i realise its a mighty fine day! guess i am saying that cos like, yah, the day is over..

blogging is quite fun eh.. haha.. tomorrow i have some mock amaths paper..its suppose to be no big-a deal, but LK says he wants to mark mine and a few, cos i er, failed my prelims... i really wish i dont fail this time, cos i had been muggin... hai, oh how demoralising it will be if i flank it this time! haha, God will help, lalalla..~

settling down already.. going to mug mug mood (MMM) soon.. and yeah, have cell on my mind.. wonder why God called me, i mean, are the other contacts on his HP bz? haha.. or maybe its a prank call.. nah, God nv calls anyone and says, "wrong no."... still.. i sometimes wish i am not a sell, i mean, cell ldr.. cos.. hai..its tiring.... have to testify for the new batch of ldrs.. God, dont allow me to be proud ... thank You...

yeah, God Rocks, must have more discipline to spend QT ah... hai.................

cluck cluckk

2004-10-06T05:21:00.000-07:00

ah.. wad an insane day...
had like a troubled day in school trying to mug.. hopefully i will mug before its too late..
still troubled by wad happened on monday..wonder how God loves irritating peeps, wait, i am irritating too..haha.. sigh..
asked God to be more courageous .. had a weird encounter 2 nites ago.. it was as if i could not wake up.. and argh, it felt horrible.. then after struggling, i finally woke up, and ..prayed.. hmm.. wad was that all about? i remember spinning in that 'dream'... whatever it is, hopefully it wont happen again...
need to mug, mug, mug in the light before its too late! tomorrow got physics mock paper, and 3 periods of physics, plus 2 killer geog.. i hope i can survive..

sian..

2004-10-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

trying blogging..haah