hey Big Guy..
Dear God
i was typing all the bad things on how i cannot make it anymore yesterday on the blog before i closed the window when my bro walked in.. and i guess You made me do that on purpose.. You wanted to show me that yeah, its more than my whinings..its trusting You..even to the point of doubts...
Pastor Chee was talking about the wilderness and i wondered.. how come when these people saw you part the red sea and still challenge You? all the wonders You did and still they complained? why the wilderness God? and i figured that its the same for me.. i cannot bear myself to trust in You in the times of trouble, though You had been there telling me Your existence. Sorry Big Guy.. help me trust You, and lead me out of my wilderness...
wad wld happen if the Isrealites trusted You..? wld the World be different now? if I trust you now, wld my results be soo different?
"You will overcome, and the trials you go through
will fall one by one, as My grace pours over you."
seek Me and find Me by CFNI
falling ill..
ok..its a nice nice sunday.. as usual.. ahhhhh...
i cant believe that, yeah, i managed to talk to people more now..haha..God You rox.. today cell had div. meet cos..Kenny wanted to address them on his leave. He is taking up the new batch of alpha youths and the new leaders. I pray that it will be a better division, due to his experence and the fire of the new leaders. There is some sadness stirring up cos well, Kenny is leaving, and heck, he taught me ALOT ALOT of things.. so thankful to him, and God, that our paths crossed.. hmm.. hope he has a easier time next year!
Been thinking of the new leaders too.. mixed feelings i guess... my batch, hai, wish i could lead with them, it would be so fun. Ah, God called me to this Division, i am gratful... i wish Mark would consider taking up ldrship...see how ah..
falling ill leh, then got Os in 9 days.. how am i going to survive?
...sigh...
Just came back from support grp.. feeling so..er, disguisted with myself.. donno why..hai..
I seriously think i have a major problem communicating.. every wrong thing i will say.. then i try to just tiam tiam, but tiam tiam also cannot, cos like you not supportive or very tao.. hai.. open mouth also cannot, close mouth also cannot..sian...Sharon said in choir tt i like "lang zi" which i take it as loner lah.. bo bian mah, i cant even like, talk to people well.. some are soo popular, you donno wad to talk about, some are well, i donno..i just cant approach them.. i don mind being alone, its fun, i just hate it when they give me this weird stare.... .. .. .. . .. . . .. . .. . . . .... . . .. .. . .. .
Maybe its cos i am younger, or cos i say stupid things.. whatever it is, i guess i shoud shut up more and avoid crowded places.. dont really think i would go back to support grp after next week..i feel very awful there.... i think i just say all the wrong things, and yeah, get on everyone's nerves.. prevention is better than cure right
quite tired, irritated by myself, amazed at how i can get on everybodies bad books without even trying, wow, i am so proud of myself
I thank God for letting me lead with Cindy.. she is so matured, i have so much to learn from her..
hmm..wads this..?!
i am tying this in another com, and hmm..apparantly, there are more functions! wad the... like.. this...
gogopowerrangers.. cool eh..hahahaha, okok, i am a sua ku, bigggg deal..
i bought the new album by "by the tree" today, eh, i like the name ok.. i suppose tree refers to the Cross...sweet.. the songs are quite cool.. Previously, i wreack all my CDs and like, i cant find a single one now.. so i intend to start protecting my CD's-to-be.. i hope i can do so, starting from this CD..
Had chem prac. today, gosh, it was madness... i calculated the Mr for sodium to be 19, arghh... cant believe this.. sad ah.. then left the extended qns blank.. donno how to do at all.. haha..wasted..hope i still can do well...
Head hurts... hurt hurt hurt..
17 And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing and have nothing: make something of me. You can do it; You got what it takes--but God, don't put it off.
psalms 40:17
its a mystery indeed...
well..i just like, mug finish for the day.. and it turns out to be a boring night after all the work in the morning.. I had this weird urge to talk to someone the whole day.. argh, cant take it..
saw Mason and Daniel Blog.. beautiful..haha.. read some of Dan's entries too, ahaha..i wonder how they fit the bike into his pants too, maybe he just has huge pants.. anyway, pokemon is stupid lah.. it would be cool to own a chalizard though..eheh..Saw your entry on forgiveness too.. wow, dint know you had such a serious side, on account that you always poke me when you walk past me.. (ok, lousy excuse)
i really wonder what is going to happen.. to cell, to studies.. am i going to be a good ldr? can i bring these kids into worship? where is Richard? gosh.. how do you actually look out for him.. God dont let me lose him... how to make them worship? i think it must start with me.. why am i asking these qns only now..? argh.. so tired.. Bro. Sam said ldrs are lonely at times, i think i just dont click well with my Church frens..wait, i dont click well anywhere.. arghh..wad am i suppose to do..?
10 more days to O level.. God, are you really going to let me tide through this? At this stage, i see myself as someone who will retain loh.. hai, not doubting you.. but.., just abit dissapointed tt i cant go anywhere for 1st three mths..
On the lighter side, i played soccer in class today with those crazy peeps, Amar, Ben, Shin Wei and Xiong Chin..lolx.. quite fun ah, just that we all regreted playing...after the game, none of us could focus..but hey, it was fun!
Just a bit tired now, of all the things running in my head..still have the weird urge to talk to someone..arghh..
going to mug till i foam in the mouth
hello, hello, hello.. such a fun day..God, thanks for bringing in 26 peeps today!!!!!!! wow wow wow..
I realised that, these kids are still kids man.. some topics cannot be opened to them, simply because they are kids.. must be careful in picking topics now.. haha.. ouch.. wonder when will they mature!
had like, talked to rachel the most today, haha..she is quite sweet eh..haha..crazy enough to sign up for theory exam on the 30th of Oct... hope she will do well! Denise is in NY... and i am mugging and stressing..arghhhhhhhh!
today overslept.. nv go morning service..hai yah...
I love such days..simple and ez.. yeahh..Thank God~
Up and On
sniff sniff... there goes a chapter in SAS.. had a farewell assembly and well, i need no come back for lessons or morning assembly anymore! today was the last day of a "Normal" school day, its kidda sad huh..
haha, during lessons we actually had fun, while the other class were mugging.. wad to do, o levels so near.. but the strange thing is that, even when Mdm Tan and Mr Koh teach, the class actually listened... for the first time, i actually see the class listen with such attentiveness... i guess they acknowledge that it is, afterall, the last day of secondary school.. took alot of photos, plus alot of crap, ahaha, the class tried to play truth or dare, but pity Mr Koh walked in at that time.. oh well! he tried to tell us of past students..haha, that was interesting!
the farewell assembly was alright lah, not bad lah.. the mike keep on failing la! stupid mikes.. the teachers special, cannot hear the solo.. sian.. the speeches keep on getting cut off in the middle, alamak kenneth said he will donate TWO mikes when he gets his first million... the crowd was supportive lah, amazingly.. haha.. we had real fun, or memorable fun, wadever.. Miss Chua and Aravinth actually spoke on behalf of "reflections of a teacher / student" respectively, and i am the only name mentioned in both speeches! so honoured..heheh... actually Miss Chua quite chio ah, lolx.. she said i changed from a shy boy to a wad, someone who dares to lead hymn in the morning..haha.. sweet.. Teachers item was "If we hold on together"..nice.. haha.. well..tt was a closing chapter...
we left to do our stuffs after that.. S1 went to find Miss Lee to take photo and give present (to her, some glass mug)..haha..and after that i went to collect authograph..first time, and i got like, 5 teachers personal comments, wohoo!Miss Lee rejected to sign my authograph cos..she bz..wah liao... then i left lah, cos meeting Skrinth and Jesytn for badminton..hehe.. Kenny said that was so primary school, i found it meaningful loh ( the autograph, not badminton)..
had a shoik game of badminton, Raja jaja joined us.. doubles right, me and jaja beat Skrinth and Jestyn 4 sets to 2 sets! whohoo! hahaha.. must play again after Os...
after that i went to Support grp.. haaha.. can tell Kenny is trying to make me feel more welcome, and yeah, tts so nice.. haha.. felt a bit closer to them now.. hope Jan will cope with her stress and like.. be peaceful.. oh, Michelle is joining us!!
wad an awesome day, thank you God..! better go off now, have to pray for tomorrows testimony.. and wake up early to meet Senior Daniel.. lala.. over and out!
2 more days to my er, despair and joy
hello, hello, hello, hello
so much crap.. had a good game of badminton with Shawn today, shoik sia, he sweats alot, and he throws racquet, ahhahaha... rejected Ping Lon too, cos shawn wanted one on one.. but never say no straight in the face lah, hai, feel so bad...
yeah, two more days to study break, or as nat puts it, no more morning assembly forever! hai, haha, is that good or bad? i wonder.. no more secondary school friends..hai.. sad sad sad.. trying to enjoy my last week in school, but how too?! so much work, hahaha...
heard Stacy Orrico on TV, one of the old songs, i think is I could be the one, haha, quite nice ah, its good to know there are Christian songs played on TV..sweet.. encouraged me also, cos yah, God can use anyone..
have to study le ah uncle, you got competition with Shawn tomorrow remember?
"Lord i wish i could praise You with adaquate words, but it wld be endless.."
HAha, lame graduating prefects came up with the all new, latest, installment of room games! aka. sepa takru (sue me for my spelling)... and i came up with the idea of the net! wohhoh! dint dare to play cos er, they very pro..haha, Raja kept on using his head, and haha..someone retorted that he finally found a use for his head..so bad!! hahaha.. better not mention names..... (it was Jestyn) ahha, Teenash asked me to note in the the archive..yeah right! such a lame, but fun, game ... anyway i where got archive..alamak..
this are the sweet memories i leave behind when i leave school..the real fun.. ahaha... sigh.. one more week LQ..one more week..
today amaths mock! before got geog and ss mock..wah..siann... amaths mock Mr. Koh kept on insisting on helping me..haha, but i think i failed him..so sian.. must work harder!!
actually i wonder why i nv note down precious moments in my lifes.. and i realise its because i am afraid that when i read it again, i will start to miss the times we had.. time is now like, a hindering factor to joy? and hai.. the more you grow, the more you see things, to the negative side... hai.. God, your heaven will be beautiful and timeless right... can still remember the times when i was so young, my mind would wander to sad events and i will feel so discourage.. am i trying to avoid such cases again..? gosh..
sad things aside.. i am sure i will miss my prefects when i leave school.. buddies, you will always be in my heart..
20 more days to O lvl.. drew up a time table (finally) and yeah, realise i got no more time, donno why i can find time to sit here and type.. want to vent my feelings on my thoughts i guess...lalalla..
yes, the time is wrong for all the previous post, ahhaha... Dion sms-ed me, i was suppose to call him!! arghh.. he asked me wad to bring, cos PSLE over..haha, bring nothing lah uncle.. and he said i proved no help, hahahaaha..i see wad he bring tomorrow man..
need to go kun le, tomorrow wont be a fun day, got english tuition...2 compos to finish..hai, haaii... haaaaaaaiiiiiiiii... lalalla
I'm just one of the many to stand and confess, and yet still You hear me...
sunday, sunday is a day
just reached home from Church, kinnda tired, fearful too..for tommorrow is really a hectic day, and i may not be able to face the pressure..haha... at least today was good!
Went home with some peeps, so fun, cannot take it for granted, cannot get too into it either.. wad the heck am i mumberling about?
today's sermon was a nice one,i learn quite alot, esp. Pastor Rony's one..haha, i nearly typed Pastor Ronies.. so lame right, sorry...
need to mug le, dont think i will update blog so often anymore, God help me in my studies, and allow me to study!
" the greatest injustice is the road which Christ took to the cross"
sian sat. sian sian sian sian.
so bothered by something regrading power..wish God would grant me the power to overcome this...
its another boring day, wanted to go MS and serve, but scared mom dont allow, so nv asked..wanted to really mug, but i nv mug in the end, cos quite troubled ah.. yup..
alvin is trying to convince me of his biological kids and wife again, agrhhh... i cant believe i played along too.. oh no..haha.. but its really quite lame, oh well.. tomorrow got cell..wonder wad will happen tomorrow, cos nv do proper follow up..hai..must do follow up next week! mom is so mad tt i nv study.. but i cant really focus ah.. ahhaii..
pray that tomorrow will be a wonderfully relieving day..
"Okay, here's the plan..."
ahh..just came back from support group.. made alvin sooo mad today cos i was late for like, 30 mins and i made him late.. so irritating ah me.. i was quiet too, for the whole day, cos.. was thinking of some stuffs lah, like, how un supportive support group is to me, and yeah.. i realise that its just me, not getting the desired er, relationships with my ldrs..i guess i am too blame, cos, i dint try hard enuf.. i guess this testify to the fact that, human fails.. and well, God doesnt..!
Kenny shared on trusting God today.. nt the usual stuffs i guess, its more of an illustration of King Saul.. of how he did not follow God's commands.. the Israelites wanted a King, which means they disregrad God as their King.. so, ook, God told them, yeah, here is your king, as long as you guys follow me, everything will be fineee... but yeah, Saul nv follow God's game plan!! (very brief ah) and.. well, i need to really follow God's GAME PLAN, no matter how different it sounds from what i have in mind.. hopefully His plan is something like, rest, I give you A1s..haha...
had a good round of badminton too, but thats not why i was late! i think alvin thinks that, hai, bo bian lah, next time dont be late can le.. but its so hard, i stay in YCK leh, Church is in tampines leh..
yeah.. had some reflections.. and i want to stop folding those hearts le, prob. going to throw all (abt 256 of them ) away.. thus ends the stupid crush, she wont like me anyway..haha.. lalalla
end of the battle..start of the war..
okkie... madness day is over.. ahh... as i sit down and just recollect my thoughts, i realise its a mighty fine day! guess i am saying that cos like, yah, the day is over..
blogging is quite fun eh.. haha.. tomorrow i have some mock amaths paper..its suppose to be no big-a deal, but LK says he wants to mark mine and a few, cos i er, failed my prelims... i really wish i dont fail this time, cos i had been muggin... hai, oh how demoralising it will be if i flank it this time! haha, God will help, lalalla..~
settling down already.. going to mug mug mood (MMM) soon.. and yeah, have cell on my mind.. wonder why God called me, i mean, are the other contacts on his HP bz? haha.. or maybe its a prank call.. nah, God nv calls anyone and says, "wrong no."... still.. i sometimes wish i am not a sell, i mean, cell ldr.. cos.. hai..its tiring.... have to testify for the new batch of ldrs.. God, dont allow me to be proud ... thank You...
yeah, God Rocks, must have more discipline to spend QT ah... hai.................
cluck cluckk
ah.. wad an insane day...
had like a troubled day in school trying to mug.. hopefully i will mug before its too late..
still troubled by wad happened on monday..wonder how God loves irritating peeps, wait, i am irritating too..haha.. sigh..
asked God to be more courageous .. had a weird encounter 2 nites ago.. it was as if i could not wake up.. and argh, it felt horrible.. then after struggling, i finally woke up, and ..prayed.. hmm.. wad was that all about? i remember spinning in that 'dream'... whatever it is, hopefully it wont happen again...
need to mug, mug, mug in the light before its too late! tomorrow got physics mock paper, and 3 periods of physics, plus 2 killer geog.. i hope i can survive..
sian..
trying blogging..haah
