oh yeahh..
this is going to be one lonnnnggggg blog.. alot happened in this week..
first i had primary school chalet... woh shoik la, at down town east.. it was pretty cool to meet frens tt i hanged out with last time, and frankly, all of us changed.. haha.. its pretty cool to be looked as the clown too, hahaa... if any of the 603 peeps read this, i am not tt sparstic outside one, really really.. really really.. really Sara,really..
had to leave in the middle of the chalet, but for a good cause.. Kenny had called for a three day prayer on thurs, fri and sat.. throughout this period of time, i learnt alot... was pretty dry after all the leading.. and i really just kept on focusing on how to lead better... and on thursday, after all the confusion, all the weird things running in my head, i guess God spoke..Kenny was praying on denying oneself.. and i thought back to those times in CHS where they talked on denying oneself.. and He asked me
"Where is your first love?"
haha.. cry and cry.. all i could mubble was , idonno,iamsorry... Joanne was beside me praying for me, i think..haha.. tt felt so good... truely, all He wants is not our deeds but us, as in us, useless we might be..
went back chalet after tt.. shoik la, more peeps came, but they had to go back shortly.. they only came for the BBQ.. wasted..caught up with a few old frens.. thank goodness not too many peeps stayed back too, cos it was so crowded in the room! CS and BR actually slept at the balcony..mad peeps.. haha
for both nitez, i intro the games and puzzles..hai, wad will they do without me? haha no lah! the games so lame, i nearly thought they wanted to stone me.. chit chat until so late.. the other times were spent in the room playing majong, Xbox or the TV.. i learnt how to play MAjong too!haha.. it was fun la!
everything ended on fri.. Ping Yuan had to go M'sia after tt, crazy.. wonder how he survive.. CS also, going M'sia on sat..
fasted on sat... really realise wad is fasting .. my flesh died and during worship, i felt so cold.. but so so awake, like, crazy awake, like when the Spirit is alive.. it feels good, and really must fast more le, hahaha..
dont feel like blogging le, haha.. tomorrow got cell! WHEEEEEEEEEE
glass shards on the floor
hmm.. just had a ldrs retreat.. it was pretty awesome, cos its really time off to just know each ldr better and draw nearer to God.. Wei hao and Zheng hong shared on "silence and solitude" and "fasting" respectively.. it was so cool... like all the older ldrs teaching spiritual discipline.. it was very awesome.. Zheng Hong started the sharing with The Lord's Prayer.. so cool..learnt alot.. ahh.. morning devotion was taken by triston, so nice too.. haha.. but i fell asleep during QT..so jia lut..
last day was like, the maddness.. cos we played vollying for like, 3 hrs?! from 2 to 5.. then i had soccer with Bro Sam.. haha... he only had 45 mins of sleep for tt day.. gosh.. he just told me tt he had insane muscle ache the day after.. poor chap..hahahahahah... but frankly i got to know him more..
on the whole, i expected more, but i guess i have to do my own share of seeking..
speaking of seeking, i am at the brim of cross roads man... its like the smooth path is over, and to walk on, to have a stronger relationship with God, to lead on for cell, i have to start walking on glass sheds... i doono wad to do le, its insane i tell you.. today is so chaotic.. cell attendence 13.. gosh, if nth is done, i am going to bring down alot of potential lives man.. how? how? how?
i also tend to see my spiritual walk as a race with other people, a competition.. tts so bad, cos harbour alot of pride.. i donno wad to do le, i dont want to come up with theories and try to solve my own probs, or cell probs le.. i am so sick of the surface man.. i need to dive deeper, and i have no clue on how to do that.. besides, there are glass sheds on the floor.. how man, how God?
thank goodness i have Jeremy.. different Church.. but i think i am the most accountable to him.. he makes afford to check on me leh! goodness.. i dont think i can even share with peeps in Church tt well, but who cares.. must make sure as time passes by, i make afford to check on my church peeps..if i dont BS..haha, no lah, wont one la..
the last thing i need, is to be heard.. but to hear, what You have to say..
Please speak.
div. outing, retreat, whatever..
fiew, had a division retreat, or rather stayover on friday and sat. it was fun! haha.. we went to kayak first, and i got capsized 10 times loh, crazy peeps...hah.. i flip kenny's boat once, so proud of myself! haha.. we paddle with the wave la, and had SO much difficulty paddling back.. in the end, Mich, meiling, denise and i ended up stranded... had to borrow this trolley, thank goodness.. those guys even helped us carry it outside la.. haha.. we also ended up blocking this grp of ns man marching..so embarrassing..haaha.. we returned the kayak late, and had a fine of 5 bucks.. had to push the trolley all the back too, haha, with meiling sitting on it..lame, she even got the no. of the guy who helped us.. friendly chap..
then we stayed over meiling's uncle house..the div. had bbq there while i pop of to choir prac.. wah, madness loh choir prac, no overseer, no scores, not much stuffs loh, and the performance is on the 19th... madness... we still prac, nevertheless, and i hope we will make it in time for the performance..
Jan was pretty tired tt day, she had grad nite the nite b4... hah, and we went to Meiling's uncle house after tt... the div asked us to buy stuffs, and Jan and i took the bigger maggie mee while the rest got cup noodles..eheh..
had evaluation there.. it was good, lasted till 2 in the morning.. and Jan had to go home after tt.. at 4! madness.. she got scolded i guess..hai.. sorry Jan!
slept tt too...b4 tt we had like, card games..so lame la!!hahahahahaha... all the nonsense came out.. heard tt xiao zhong ( the dog there) tried to hump kennys leg too..haha..he was quite affected..haha...
next day, we woke up pretty late.. Cindy and i had a meeting..haha.. and we went of for lunch.. after tt went home le..everyone was so tired..i had to get ready for sunday..
sunday was pretty mad! i woke up late and cannot go morning service..hai ya.. promised to meet dion and sheryl one, but they also dint go..haha.. for cell, i was pretty frustrated when they made so much noise, and i just kept quiet.. i guess they got pretty freaked out when i did it like, 3 times, and they listened for cell..haha..so cool eh, hai.. the cell needs more discipline ah..
Engie asked me to do another solo..but i realised tt i cannot.. cos i simply donno why i am serving le, so i asked for break..haha..i really wanted to do tt solo, bt then again..i also donno if i serve man or God.. hai.. for choir prac, Engie made us do weird stuffs..haha..but it was fun.. for the warm up.. yup.. was feeling pretty down, donno why..hah.. hmm..
yup..
hols are here!
gosh, the hols are all over the place man.. i have so much things to write..
i brought some cell members out on tuesday, but i think its more of them bringing me out, haha,cos i really donno the area... we played CS, hai, so malu, then soccer..quite fun ah, got a blister..haha..went home before 5..correct wad, bring p6 kids out..
the next day i went to pular ubin with magesh and kai yu.. went there to bike, shoik man, all the cool slopes..
they climbed in a few areas that are restricted loh, crazy fellers.. and i have to follow..hahaa... we went in this "unstable" house, tts wad the sign says..and try to explore it.. the front door was unlocked, and we walked in..the whole house was boarded up, so its very dark..gosh we were freaked out, and had to walked in so slowly.. we even went up, and i had to close the door which had no door nob..tts was spooky..haha.. the two of them found some newspapers, lighters and poker cards.. hah.. at the front porch there..there were some sort of table there lah, i guess its not tt deserted at all..haha
we had no touch lite ah, then walk a few steps jiu went out le, cannot take it..haha..still can remember quarreling which one of us will lead..
after tt i had some headache, and it was starting to rain.. wah, nv cycle tt fast b4, i dint break at the insane slopes..haha, soooooooooooooo fun.. the feel of wind gushing onto my face, got to do it again man.. nearly died a few times too! haha..thank God i dint fall..
i went back to school today..had to do pack the doc. again.. sort of my last job lah.. hai, so mch things to pack lah, super sian man..whee..
tomorrow going to play soccer with dion again..i hope i can get richard to come..yeah..
